The Foreign List

I actually got to talk about reading yesterday night. As a result, I ended up going to bed at 4am. Thanks guys, it was a real treat. Anyway, got up at noon today, glanced at the books on my shelves and tables...and promptly felt depressed. I don't read as much as I would like, and I remember even less of what I read. I wish that even half of the print I set my eyes on would stay in my brain. It's not that I mind re-reading good books;in fact, a good book always reveals something new or hits your consciousness afresh with every re-read. It just doesn't seem like a very efficient system. Especially when there are tonnes of other books...

I think I have only read 60-70% of all the titles in my library at least once. And there are a million other titles that I want to get right now. Maybe that's my problem: I'm never satisfied, and I tend to devour a book on the first read. Liz takes it slow, savouring the words and reading a little at a time, while I'll devour it, chasing the words all the way to the last page. I'm too impatient to relax and slow down. And I tend to go without reading for stretches, and then binge on print. I know that regular, smaller doses would do me alot better.

I'm currently reading Philip Yancey's 'Rumours of Another World'. I resolved to only do a chapter a day, but I covered a third of the book yesterday. Bad Athalia. However, I lost the interest to read further and had to stop, which is unusual. I think I just need to take time off to reflect on things, and that's when the idea of blogging hit me.

Anyway, what's weighing on my mind right now? I was asked that yesterday night, but I said I don't know. Here are some of the things that come to mind now, in random order:
1) Alan said that he didn't want to become a Christian because he doesn't agree with the 'old Testament God'. I understand why he says that, and I actually did have many questions too. Have I let them stop bothering me? Why?
2) Designer Sex. That's a title of a chapter in Rumours, but I don't really want to delve into what it's about now.
3) Why do I believe? When asked, I am able to provide an answer. But my answer feels hollow, and flies on tattered, frail wings. Maybe it's the lack of practice.
4) Is the church (or rather, are people) blocking me from thinking about God? That question just popped up. More accurately, am I spending time with other people to avoid thinking about God? If yes, why?
5) Do I think too much? Does all the thinking I do actually contribute anything to anyone? Maybe I should just do more.
6) Intimacy with God.

I'm tempted to delete this list. Even though I wrote it, it doesn't strike a chord within me as I review it, it doesn't feel a part of me. Feels like reading someone else's list. However, I'll resist that temptation and offer this up. Hopefully I'll do better the next time.