Timothyy!

I'm glad we can do things like that together. Happy 17th bro.

Get Lonely

I will rise up early and dress myself up nice
And I will leave the house and check the deadlock twice
And I will find a crowd and blend in for a minute
And I will try to find a little comfort in it

And I will get lonely
And gasp for air
And send your name off from my lips
Like a signal flare

And I will go downtown, stand in the shadows of the buildings
And button up my coat, trying to stay strong - spirit willing
And I will come back home, maybe call some friends
Maybe paint some pictures, it all depends

And I will get lonely
And gasp for air
And look up at the high windows
And see your face up there

by the Mountain Goats

“If human love

does not carry a man beyond himself, it is not love. If love is always discreet, always wise, always sensible and calculating, never carried beyond itself, it is not love at all. It may be affection, it may be warmth of feeling, but it has not the true nature of love in it. Have I ever been carried away to do something for God not because it was my duty, nor because there was anything in it at all beyond the fact that I love Him? Not Divine, colossal things which could be recorded as marvellous, but ordinary, simple human things which will give evidence to God that I am abandoned to Him?

There are times when it seems as if God watches to see if we will give Him the tokens of how genuinely we do love Him. Abandon to God is of more value than personal holiness. Personal holiness focuses the eye on our own whiteness; we are greatly concerned about the way we walk and talk and look, fearful lest we offend Him. Perfect love cast out all that when once we are abandoned to God."

Oswald Chambers

The thing that struck me the most after reading this was how so many people I know are so careful when it comes to loving anyone, anything. Never carried away, never totally abandoned, never truly loving. How utterly sad.

Have you ever been carried away for Him? For anyone?

I was reminded yesterday

"...we must not put in mind that prayer would only be effective when it arises from an eager and emotional heart…we all must be trained to keep appointments with God, whether we feel liking it or not."

John 16:24, “Until now you have asked nothing in My name. Ask, and you will receive, that your joy may be full.”

Thursday, 22 Feb

Yesterday’s post seemed somewhat like a grumble but it wasn’t meant to be. I enjoy festive seasons and I enjoyed the long weekend of excess. No regrets at all. [sticks chin out defiantly].

However, here’s a real grumble. Saturday’s shopping trip was unproductive; I only bought a pair of functional sandals. Sensible, practical and useful choice but I realise now that it is actually quite ugly. Bah.

Had the idea of recording my Chinese New Year resolutions. I’m pretty sure that I made New Year ones but I can’t recall any now. Here goes.

1) To read two new books a month. I’ve done half my quota for Feb-finished Lyddie by Katherine Patterson about three weeks ago. Hmm…one more week to go for the second, I’m gonna cheat with a thin book.

2) Not to get ragingly angry at turtles and name-call them nasty names. This applies especially to slow, dense ones. (just kidding!)

3) I’m running out of juice here. Errr. To bring an umbrella to work? I’ve had to run out to my car in the rain a number of times already but I'm still procrastinating on that. Yeah, it's nice to run in the rain, but not in workshoes and not with a 45min drive home after that.

4) Maybe I should ammend no 3) to stop procrastinating so much but...I'd rather do that some other time. Maybe next year.

Payday

My eyes are tired and my head hurts, courtesy of indulging on Monday night till past 4 am. I wonder if my eyesight has started to deteriorate due to the relentless monitor-staring I do. It feels...strained.


*I don't wanna wear glasses. I don't wanna wear glasses. Or contacts for that matter.*

Didn’t manage to catch up on sleep yesterday. Oh well, I miss staying up like that so I’d say that a headache’s a small price to pay :)

I stuffed myself silly for the past three days, yet managed to refrain from overdoing it to the point of feeling ill. This is no mean feat; the combination of pig truck load of junk washed down with cans and cans of sweet, fizzy drinks mixed with the baking heat (and temperature change when it suddenly pours) and car journeys in between can be pretty lethal. Woohoo, my super powers are increasing! However, I realise that my aspiration to look good in skinny pants is now further away than ever. In fact, I hardly wear pants or jeans of any kind anymore. But this is the Year of the Pig, so pass me the chips please.

[6:30 edit-Another price to pay for all of the above: zits. I forgot that they're popping out till I glanced at the mirror just now.]

Rant

Why is it impossible to get all my pictures lined up in a STRAIGHT row with uniform gaps in between them?
I've just spent over half an hour re-editing and re-publishing and it's STILL LIKE THAT.
Grrrrr.

12:46 update:-I came home and tweaked it again. At least the spacing's even now. I've resigned myself to the ugly alignment.

I want