I don't wanna go! I don't wanna go! You can't make me!!

Yeah right.

I'm going for cell now without the tube, and it's not because I have to as the cell leader. As if I'm even able or allowed to do something as low as that-going for the sake of going. Thus ends my attempt at being a hardened gangsta rebel. Before Friday night! I shouldn’t have gone for prayer meet last night. Such a self-defeating move. So much for tubing, eh? This right-winger is back to square one again.

So now I've barely put up a fight before running straight back into the fold, bleating like a lamb with its tail on fire with its tongue hanging out. At this rate, nobody’s going to take me seriously the next time I say I want to quit. Which should happen around the end of the year, judging from past patterns. But that's a pattern I have to break. Burning out after every major event. So it's probably good not to take me seriously anyway.

Flippant tone aside, it’s good to know that I am taken seriously by the leadership. I'm thankful that they're sensitive and know how to persist in asking "What's wrong?", they know how to hear you out without judging and then they actually help you fix it up without making you feel worse.

The truth hurts, but it also prevails. It really does.